Language of the dying.

What do you do? What do you say? What is the best way to squash the elephant in the room?
" Well Bob, look on the bright side, you won't have to endure another election year."

Dad knows he is terminal, I know he knows, he knows that I know.. and still it is almost too sad to say the words out loud... Me, who cracks a joke at every uncomfortable situation, finds myself editing my snark.  Knowing that he would rather just have it out there.

Seriously, even his first Oncologist couldn't say the words..

















Months ago when I asked him if he minded that I blog about his cancer, he told me.. Just make sure you keep your sense of humor.
And I guess that is the only way to make it through.. laugh around the tears.


You really can't cheat death...no matter how hard you wish it.

Here is a little secret: If you are sitting with him, just shooting the shit, and you start to feel tears well up in your eyes.. It's okay, to let them go. We all know it is hard and sad. Chances are you will get a great big Bob hug, after you blow your nose.

 

How they got their name..

I am often asked.. "Who are the teenagers?".. Well my parents, Duh.. "Why do you call them that?"
Here is the long answer.

After moving to Boston at age 17. I spent 20 long years away from my parent.
In that time they had finished raising their seven kids and were on the cusp of retirement.

The idea was I was going to move in their house with Mike and we would take over the  mortgage and keep the house up as they travelled the world. Giving them a place to land in between adventures.


Dad retires, they sell their car and off into the great unknown they go..

 Now in that time before they took their first trip I noticed somethings had changed.

The parents I was raised by, were always worried about providing for the kids.. Watching every penny.. Responsible in the most adverse of circumstance.
 When I left the boys were still young.. still needed to be educated, fed, a silly thing like a roof over their heads.  Although my parents always knew how to have a good time, there follies were limited due to funds and many mouths to feed.

These new parents I was getting to know, went out to eat, went to the movies, bought hot tubs and no longer spent their Sunday's sitting in Church.
They ate junk food and left trails of crumbs on route to the TV.


They became officially The Teenagers when they got back from Greece or Mexico, who knows..

One day I get home from being out and about with Mike. All the lights were burning. The house was unlocked.. and they were gone somewhere in my car...

When I went to go to work the next day, the fuel was low and the speakers were cranked up with Vivaldi or some Opera blasting at me at 5:30 am..

From that day forward I have called them The Teenagers..
Married so very young, having to think of everyone but themselves for decades, my parents were finally free to do what they wanted to do!



They look like they are up to something!

And I wouldn't want it any other way!

They got it all wrong!

I was thinking of the Make a Wish Foundation.
 How they have a age limit of 18 years old.
 They got it all wrong.. Wishes for the very sick and terminal would be much cheaper, more appriciated and easier for those over 60.


Think about it, a Trip to Disney for a family of 4 has got to cost thousands.. $$$$$$$$
Where as a couple of Viagra and street prostitute... a hundred, Maybe. 

It has to be far easier to contact Mel Tormes people than say Kanye Wests..



Who would you rather meet?

Now I don't want to hear any whining about how I have no heart, sick kids make me sad... Show me a picture of a bald, emaciated 10 year old.... I see the injustice, the heartbreaking reality.. But that doesn't mean we should ignore our elders..
 And lets face it seniors are more interesting..they have history... they know what it is like to walk to school, in the snow, without shoes... shoes were for Sissies..




Why is it always uphill ???

 I often wonder if Dad would be getting faster, better, more sympathetic care if he were younger..

And the winner is...

I knew it Bella wins! She has been the favorite for awhile now.


Mewerrrrow!

Mom asked Mike if he would do a couple of manly things around the house when he was here.. Of course he agreed.
 One of those chores was to remove the old glass shower door. Well, he doesn't have that task anymore... Dad did some sneak attack home improvements today when Mom wasn't looking..

 Oh sure, just a door you say... But you know how Dad is... he starts and keeps going and going...





The new bathroom in the sutter home.



What kind of state are you in?

I figure since we are all gathering from so many states, it would be fun to see where we all fail..




 I would suggest we all dress up in a appropriate outfits to represent our home state shame, but I don't want to see Rhone and Janet as Porn Stars...


At lunch today, Dad used the word Giddy, the man is absolutely giddy...
The teenagers found a great deal on a ping pong table today.. Something to keep the restless busy..
"Hey Target you make it hard to pass up a $32.50 full size game table!"




I bet I could beat her saggy ass!



Take a moment..

Perhaps we should all take a moment and thank Topher for his hard work in planning this reunion!

I think I will text him to say thanks..... 10 times in a row..

then write lovely things on his Facebook wall..

Good job Brother!

Coffee is on me!

Helping Mom with the Craziness.

As the time grows closer for everyone to come visit.. The Teenagers are getting more and more enthusiastic!
Dad is getting stronger everyday.
So to make life easier on them, Mom especially. I suggest that everyone have a activity in mind that they might want to do.




I'm bored who want to go to TJ's



I can win this race!


The go-karts are surprisingly fun!









Big $$$$$$

Casinos are the best place ever!                                                     









Go on a picture taking excursion?

Say Opal Haycock!

I am not suggesting a itinerary, God forbid! 
 Simple stuff really for when and if we get tired of looking at each other...

 I know that a big part of the time spent here is to visit.. but I think Mom & Dad will enjoy getting out of the house and having some play time too... This past month they have been so limited.. Getting out usually means a trip to the doctors office.

And it will help more than you know if when asked.. "What do you want to do?"
That ya'll have a answer!

 "I want to throw water balloons off the freeway over pass.."
 "I want to go tease the Hot Tranny Messes on the strip!"






If you have a favorite easy dinner... Throw it out there, Mom likes to make sure everyone is fed!  When she asks "What does everyone want to eat?"  Say something!
"Hamburgers"
"Pizza"
"Pickled pigs feet and Pork rinds."
"Don't worry about it, I got this meal!"

The only plans are for a breakfast buffet at the Santa Fe on Saturday morning. And a big family meal on Saturday night.
(I am recruiting Mike and Joshs' help with that one.. so start thinking boys!)

                                                                       

Feeling Groovy!

Dad is starting to feel a lot better. As he gets his strength back,
 he and Mom compromise on what he can and can't do. Messing with the remains of the tweekers fountain in front of the Sutter Home, out..
Washing his truck, a go!



Just a little dirty..

  


















Hey Dad, that ain't right!

Washing the truck didn't send him to the hospital, nor exhaust him into nap time.. so it was off to the Casino to lose some money..


Imagine how happy he would look if he were winning!

























Now it is time to relax and watch Wheel Of Fortune.

For anyone who isn't sure of Mom and Dads favorite ..... Proof is in the picture.

I make the rules.. and I say I am the princess!

A little something to get Beethoven out of your head.

This is going to be running through your brain all day.. and you are going to want cake!

Road Trip

So the Teenagers went on a little road trip today. I think someone was getting a bit stir crazy.. A month after his surgery and Dad was ready to get behind the wheel and drive!
So he did.
They took to the open road, destination, St. George. Not a super long trip but still a couple hours. They went to visit their old friends the Udarbe
It has been over 20 years since they last saw them.. so I am guessing they had a thing or two to talk about..
Not a long visit.. Sounds like they had a good time..


I am sure they had all the road trip essentials. Snacks, Diet Coke, and Beethoven pumping up the truck speakers!

Moonlight Sonata always reminds me of Mom. Playing the piano at night when she finally drugged.. Ah, I mean finally tucked the last of us kids in bed.
Tomorrow Mom and I are going go do some special kind of shopping. I think everyone who is coming out should be very scared!

Sometimes my mind wanders... and so does todays blog

Yet another Doctor appointment today.. two hours of waiting for a CAT scan.. this was at the cancer institute in Scummerline. While they were there they cancel their appointments with the old Oncologist Dr Whitehead.. Dad calls him Dr Pimple.. (See why I call them the Teenagers?)

We are getting excited about the week of mayhem and fun.. The list is growing! NFP is coming to hang one night also! Her last visit was today and so she is free to socialize without conflict..

   

Now I just have to plan the menu's for all those nights.. wash and iron the finger towels for the bathrooms.. Make the seating arrangements for each meal..  Give all the beds fresh, wrinkle free linens.. buy mints for all pillows.. Polish the silver... take the rugs out and beat them..
So much to do!

Dad has a taken on a great attitude.. His goal everyday is to find the good things in life.. Simple or complex it is amazing how many good things are out there just waiting for us to find and appreciate them.. 



I know it makes him happy when his kids call.. and if they aren't calling.. he is bragging to anyone who will listen, about how great all his kids are..

Craigslist has everything!!!!

We all know one.. Think about your co-workers, church members, a friend of a friend... a Chatty Cathy... That person who cant stop talking, always has a story, has done everything and everyone.. Doesn't matter if what they are saying is true... they just need to keep those jaws working..
Ours comes in the form of a neighbor....



They tell me to shut up.. I want to shut up but I don't know how. Once in Siberia it was too cold to talk the last time I felt silence... then there was that time I forgot to talk and then I had to call my neighbor and tell them all about it.. The cell phone must have died, because when I was done talking there was nobody on the other end of the phone.. you would think people would charge there phones more often.. once I was charged by a herd of elephants, but they were all babies and albino, so I wasn't that scared...blahblahblahblahbalh.....





She probably is a sweet woman, but when your mind is planning the best route of escape, its is hard to really know the woman..

Today she caught Dad.. and started talking.. "Blah blah blah."
Wait! What did she just say? Wholly shit....

( like any chatty Cathy she has a long list of health issues)
She told Dad, she had asked her Doctor that since her life was so damn miserable, if she could donate her pancreas to her new neighbor.. He had so much to live for .....
Incredible!
Her Doctor told her that she needs hers and it doesnt work that way... but really? Wow..
Since he can't have her diabetic pancreas I wonder if Craigslist has any to offer..

Any bets of if Mom thinks this ad is for real?

Just goes to show you.. there are people out there who will surprise you.. I always thought of this woman as a bit annoying.. a person to avoid..
then there she is offering not the coat off her back, but the pancreas from her belly..

Happy for all Infiniti!

Sometimes things actually do go your way...
The car died last week. Dead in the garage, which means towing it to some extortion establishment, disguised as a auto repair shop.  Hundreds of dollars before a greasy hand even opens the hood.

But June got a great idea.. checked out craigslist.. find a struggling mechanic, that just wants to feed their family in this ugly economy.




I think she found the best guy ever.. He came to the house.. found the simple problem.. (Spark plug abuse..) paid him a hundred bucks plus tip and the car starts no problem!!!
No games.. no rip offs.. no pressure..
When was the last time you paid to get your car fixed and didn't feel abused?

Hi, I am Joe and I can fix cars without ripping you off!

It's the little victories that make you happy, keep you going... got to have them ! 
Lets recap the week so far..
1- A compassionate doctor
2- A honest Auto Mechanic..

So far so good!

Mike is my hero..

My favorite quote of the day..
overheard Mike tell Mom "That doctors patients are trying to die, just so they can get away from him"


 The New Doctor, Dr Gahni, is a whole lot better.. he took the time to listen.. he had all of Dad's medical records right there..  Most importantly he answered all the hard question..
He said the ugly word 'terminal' and then discussed options...
What a idea.. Give a man choices and knowledge.. Not act like everything is hunky dory and there is a chance to beat this thing, when statistics dictate that there is not...


Please stand by for a moment of cute...

Thanks kitty I needed that!

So yes the news is grim... but at least there is someone on Dads side who doesn't just want to pump him full of chemicals (and Bull shit)...close the file and walk away..
With his NFP (nurse flirty pants) and Dr Gahni.. I think there is a bit of medical compassion in the horizon..

Blame Jack Reacher.

I haven't seen the teenagers much today.. I have been spending time with Jack Reacher all 540 pages of his first story.  (Thanks Sarah.. )

Dad has been watching the playoffs.. and apparently planning his practical jokes... Just warning you all.. Better bring your game! Not the first time he has mentioned it...  (I think he is feeling better and is looking forward to laughing with his kids..)

Celery Flavor???   WTF???   Thank God this is no longer available.!!!

June and I managed to make it out to Costco.. I miss the days in Utah when the Sunday shopping was easy.. no families under foot.. no over sized guys to fight for the samples of mediocre food.

No.. Not that kind of food fight!

Tomorrow is the new Oncologist day... here is hoping...

Hey! If this new guy is cool we are going to need a good Doctor break up line..
"It's not me.. it's you" ??????

Cancer is a word, not a sentence.

-Cancer is a word, not a sentence.
~John Diamond




Dad has a blind date with a new oncologist on Monday... We know the one he is seeing has no compassion or sense of humor... Maybe the new one will!










BTW, Try Googling Cancer Humor... there isn't a lot of folks out there laughing at their Big C...

That is one lame duck.....

So anyway we wait until Monday.. See what the new Doctor has to say.. Meanwhile, football playoffs.. A perfect distraction for the man who loves the game!

PS.. So sorry Falcon fans..   11 minutes to go and it will take a miracle :(

Let's make fun of old people..

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping, and upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.


She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!"


The four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad.


The lady, somewhat shaken, then to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.


She tried and tried and then it dawned on her why.


A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.


She loaded her bags into her car and then drove to the police station.


The sergeant to whom she told the story...nearly tore himself in two with laughter. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting...a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.


No charges were filed.



A senior citizens' group charters a bus from Burlington, IA, to Branson, MO. As they entered Missouri, an elderly woman comes up to the driver and says, "I've just been molested!"


The driver felt that she had fallen asleep and had a dream. So he tells her to go back to her seat, and sit down.


A short time later, another old woman comes forward, and claims that she was just molested. The driver thought he had a bus load of old wackos, but who would be molesting those old ladies?


About 10 minutes later, a third old lady comes up and says that she'd been molested too.


The bus driver decides that he'd had enough, and pulls into the first rest area. When he turns the lights on and stands up, he sees an old man on his hands and knees crawling in the aisles.


"Hey gramps, what are you doing down there?" says the bus driver.


"I lost my toupee. I thought I found it three times, but every time I try to grab it..., it runs away...!!"

May you all have a laugh today!  As we all grow older let's try to make our laugh lines deeper than our worry lines!

Get down on one knee!

When we are looking for a life partner, it is tradition to date. Find a mate that fills your needs, makes you feel good.. a person that you can depend on. Someone  you want in your life.


So when if comes to your life your health, why should the process be any different?
Doctor dating! I like that idea.



WILL YOU BE MY ONCOLOGIST?

 Dads visiting nurse... also known as Nurse Flirty Pants (NFP), spent the time to give Dad options, recommendation and general good nursing advise..  She told him that there are other doctors out there.. shop around, find someone you like! Good for you NFP!!!  Your compassion is showing and it is refreshing.

She recommended this website.. thecaringplacenv.org   Looks like some good ideas!

This is all a learning experience... knowledge I hope never to use again.

Hey I know! Let's wait some more..

Another Doctors appointment today, the oncologist.
Do you think that these cancer institutes don't realize that their patients are anxious and the diagnosis of cancer sucks?
To practice Medicine in Las Vegas do you need to take a vow to disregard all your patients needs and worries?
"Hi Bob we know that you have one of the most deadly cancers.. why don't you kick back while we do some more tests.....  and maybe one day before you die, we will start some sort of treatment."

Here.. look at this visual aid I made just for you.


Maybe I should show his oncologist this chart so he gets the idea.

 So another C.A.T Scan before they can start the daily radiation..  Every day for 5 to 6 weeks.. where are they going to do this radiation? Down the street? Across town? Who knows? They couldn't say.( The insurance company hasn't let them know yet..)

They need to implant a pack under his skin for the Chemo,, when?  We don't know yet?
The Chemo will be once a week for 5 to 6 months...
Doctor Manmeet Padda is back in town, Dad has a appointment next week.. He is the doctor that first diagnosed Dad and put in the stent. Oh so long ago..

And if that wasn't enough to make for a fun day... The car won't start!

Flirting? Say it aint so!

Dad has a visiting nurse that comes around to check up on him.
 Monitor his vitals.... Check out the surgeons slash job... The leg swelling..

 And according to Mom flirt!


What? Flirt with Dad? Is that even allowed?

Maybe Mom needs to update her reading list.