Knock Knock

Dad had a doctor from the hospice come visit today. (He was scheduled for Friday, but there was a cancellation.... wonder what canceled means in hospice terms???)

He was a older gentleman, tall, graceful and wearing a proper hat.. Dr Stoughton.


Felt like warping into 1945.

He was frank and honest.. giving advise and preparing us for what no one wants to prep for.
We asked questions concerning his lack of food... it's been over a week since he has eaten.
Oddly enough feeding tubes and forced hydration usually speed up the death process.. the greedy, mutant, evil cancer cells take the nutrition first, growing at a faster rate.


I hate you cancer cells... I really do.

 Mike, Topher and Sarah are coming in next week... Mom and I really need the support.
Dad is asleep most the time, not interested in conversation when awake.. ( normal according to Doctor House Call ..)
Patients often distance themselves from loved ones..

It is also common at this stage to have a good day or two... then pay for it with several down days.. not always a steady decline, more like a demonic roller coaster.


Dad says he is ready to go...
I will never be ready ..... nor will those of us who love him.